"I have learned of a vacancy for a position of bar observer...and I hereby apply to fill it."
--Letter of application to Tides
"Next time, you must give me stronger instructions."
Waiter in a Monrovia restaurant, apologizing for bringing the wrong thing. (Submitted by reader)
"Y'all really aren't giving Minnesota nightlife the credit it deserves."
-- Liberian girl, defending Minnesota, at our bar.
"I'll come tonight if I can find a girlfriend."
-- Our welder, making non-committal plans to come for a beer at the bar.